“Not a day goes by when I don’t ask myself, why am I here and not them?”: Ozzy Osbourne’s posthumous book reveals he was haunted by Randy Rhoads’ death for the rest of his life
From 72-hour benders to knocking back four bottles of cognac a day, Ozzy Osbourne lead a wild life. In fact, in his posthumous memoir, Last Rites, the Black Sabbath frontman labels himself a “world-class” addict – he binged and smoked so much that he was left wondering just how his body managed to keep going for 76 years.
“If I were to go to bed tonight and not get up tomorrow, no one would be surprised,” he reflects in Last Rites. “Death’s been knocking at my door for the last six years louder and louder… At some point I’m gonna have to let him in.”
However, every passing day came with a bitter note of sadness. While he was managing to evade death, he was constantly aware of his peers who weren’t as lucky – namely his guitarist Randy Rhoads, who died in a plane crash in the ‘80s.
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Rhoads would perform as Ozzy’s guitarist for three years up until his death in the fatal crash in 1982, which also saw the death of makeup artist Rachel Youngblood and the pilot. The pilot had been attempting to ‘buzz’ over Ozzy’s tour bus and wake him up, but a false move lead to the plane clipping the bus and crashing into a house.
From his 42-pill a day habit to admitting he was stoned during every episode of The Osbournes TV show, Ozzy was constantly haunted by how he was still living, while Rhoads was not.
“Not a day goes by when I don’t ask myself, why am I here not them?” Ozzy writes in his Last Rites. “I had 70 great years, which is a lot longer than I ever expected or probably deserved.”
However, in a statement announcing the memoir, Ozzy admitted he wouldn’t change anything about his life. “People say to me, if you could do it all again, knowing what you know now, would you change anything?” he said [via NME]. “I’m like, fuck no.”
“If I’d been clean and sober, I wouldn’t be Ozzy,” the statement continued. “If I’d done normal, sensible things, I wouldn’t be Ozzy. Look, if it ends tomorrow, I can’t complain. I’ve been all around the world. Seen a lot of things. I’ve done good… and I’ve done bad.”
Elsewhere in his memoir, Ozzy also recalls how the “unofficial leader” of Black Sabbath, guitarist Tony Iommi, first dealt with losing his fingertips. “He just invented himself a set of new fingertips using an old Fairy Liquid bottle, then re-taught himself how to play,” he writes.
Another section also sees Ozzy admitting that taking Van Halen on tour might have been a mistake. “You wanted your support act to be good, but didn’t want to upstage yourself,” he admits. “[We would go] back to our dressing room in silence and just sit there, staring at the fucking wall. [Every night],Van Halen just slaughtered us.”
Last Rites is out now.
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Source: www.guitar-bass.net
